The Unbearable Lightness of Being

I feel so down, maybe because I am trying to move away from people who hurt me or people who don't add anything good to my life (it measn I bitched to Michael too) I'm doing my best to not be depressed... and doing so much shopping lol

This weekend we were going to the weekend house to celebrate Christmas and I wanted to swim, but mom told me we will go on Sunday because she expect so much clients on her restaurant on Saturday. The bad thing about it is that on Sunday they close the pool early because Christmas, probably at 4 pm  and they are closed on 25th 

At work I am so busy latelly that sometimes I feel I'll collapse. My boss and I are happy about my work, which is good, and I have a lot of projects for the next year. I still have 1 week of vacations from last year, and 2 weeks from this year, then in October I'll get 3 more weeks of vacations. I'm thinking to take 1 week off in February and go to the weekend house to relax and swim. I also want to go to Chinatown but I can do it any weekend.
Today we are going to a restaurant for lunch to celebrate end of year (we are almost to go there right now). My boss gives us day off on December 23th and 30th   
In Juanary I'm going to be more busy than now, so I better rest as much as I can.

Yesterday I almost skip work! I was so tired that I turn off the alarm. It was good I had a very weird dream because it woke me up, then I realize I was going to be late to work.  In my dream I was with Michael in some house, I think we lived there. We were in the bedroom and I was sitting on the bed looking the wall while Michael was concentrated in some letter. The wall had irregular lines which formed different shapes. those shapes were painted with dark brown color and a little of white. It was so ugly! I asked to Michael why he painted the wall like this when I don't like it at all. He looked at me and replied "what are you talking about??" ... the wall! I said then when I look again to the wall it was completely white. I didn't understand what was going on. I blinked then the wall was brown again. I felt so confused, I knew Michael could not see the same than me... he started to read the letter he was writing before to know my opinion about it. This weird sensation woke me up and I felt like this for a while.


I got work few minutes late. My boss talked to me about some "secret" info she got. It seems that the employee of one of our clients steal tools from his company and gives it to our technical to he sell it to others.  Few days ago my boss had spoke with him and told him she doesn't trust him because she knows she did business with the ex seller who started the law suit, and she also knows that he gives info to this person. She pushed him harder and he swear he never did something againts us but we don't believe him, we have proofs, so she said to him next time she has any doubt about him she will fire him. She told me next year she wants to fire almost everyone, to sell our offices and to move to a new place with just the persons that she trust. I'll pray for this really happens!!! In the other hand, she told me in March she will give me a key of the office, then I can come to work earlier if I want to can go home earlier also, and she told me I can work from home instead go to the office when I need to do it  

Did I say I hate December? I have so much things to do at work. My cellphone and line phone were rining nonstop. Eveybody need something of me, even the daughter of my boss!!! Not funny at all  I do alone the work that a year ago were doing 2 people and even bringing work at home 
Yesterday and also today, after work, I bought Christmas gifts for my family.  I have almost everything which is good because I do not want to run to buy things a week before Christmas were every place is crowded, I hate that! I got books, bracelets, makeup, diary, lingerie, pencil case and clothes... yes, we are all women 

I also got a gift for myself, I bought furniture: desk, bedside table and a shoe-storage cabinet. I'll pick them on Saturday    

I started to watch some adut cartoon on Netflix called Big Mouth. It's about a group of kids going through puberty and all the changes it implies. There is a hormonal monster for the boys and one for the girls. The monster for the boys make them want to jerk off nonstop and to think about sex. The monster of the girls make them be emo, argue with their mothers and cry all the time. The face of that monster looks pretty similar to Rihanna 

Last night I stayed up late reading Code Name Camelot. I enjoy reading that book. The main character is interesting to me since he can't feel any emotion or feeling, all his reaction follow a very logical reasoning without the interference of feelings... in some point I wish I could be like that, I mean I'm very logical too but I can't avoid feelings affect me. 

I had bad sleep and I woke up many times during the night. At 10 am. I gave up trying to sleep and I got up. I cleaned the house and I struggle with the feeling of guilty because yesterday I didn't do all the things I wanted to do so today I'm rushing trying to get all done. 

I did some changes in the catalogue for my client as he asked me to do so that work is done. He already paid me for that and told me he wants to do another new design. I will finish to update the website for my work today because we wants to upload it this week, and I need to start a Google adwords campaign when the website is updated... so, hurry up!

I had a meeting with my boss and sales manager, I start to earn money from sales comissions now 

On Thursday I felt a little better, maybe because I ate the double of calories than on Wednesday. I also managed to do workout . 
At night I played Magics Duel to earn more coins for buy some booster packs. It was another hot day but at night it was windy and the temperature dropped sharply. I had to close all the windows, it was flying around a lot of dust so guess what???? Friday was the hell for me. I woke up with very dry eyes and thoat burning. When I got work my contacts were already killing my eyes and it got worse during the day. 

It was a quiet week at work where I am alone because my coworker went on vacations. I could relax from the previous stress but on Friday I got a lot of things to do.... the only day I felt really bad 

At the hour I got home and took off the damned contacts, my vision had decreased by 50%. I had dinner then I played Magics again with Michael. I bought my boosters and we opened them together. We got cards from Revolt campaign so we can play with the same cards we have in real, and learn the correct way them works. So far I think I will make a black-green deck for online game. My real deck is blue-black but when I made that deck last vacations I didn't know how cards works, and Michael was pushing me to finish it and play with our new decks so I am pretty sure my actual deck sucks. 

This morning I woke up to go to work and was hard to open my eyes because they had laments. I went to the bathroom and I examinated them on the mirror. They were not red but crying and sticky so I decided skip work, it won't be a good idea to wear contacts. I applied a cream on them and I went back to bed.

My day started with my coworker snorting and complaining 

After 31º C yesterday, today it is cold, just 16C, hard to decide what to wear every morning with this crazy weather

 On Friday and today I had training at work. This was sales training and the speaker was sales manager, what a waste of time! Something I realized is that this guy takes the ideas of other people (even MY ideas) and talk like if these are his ideas ... annoying. I saw he had a presentation in powerpoint with a diferent design that the powerpoints we use, and he pretends he did it. While we were in the trining I realized that his presentation has a lot of mexican words... he got that powerpoint from the people who trained him on Mexico, what was his need to lie about it??? 

Another annoying thing was that he talked a lot of bullshit about all the work that company and workers are doing since always like if we all are retards, and how he had to learn everything by himself because we trained him in a wrong way. There in his presentation was the daughter of my boss who is owner of the company also. Sales manager talked to the new sellers too much about our internal problems and he also explained to this girl some things that her mother "are not able to understand". The situation was very uncomfortable but he didn't realize, he felt like a winner and talked a lot about all what HE did alone and how things are changing now that he is the new manager  In some point of all his bullshit I told him "stop with ur catharsis" but he didn't got my point. 

When we had a break for lunch, boss' daughter called him and told him to stop talking about company internal issues because that topic was not relevant to train the new sellers. It seems hurted his ego then he comes to ask to me what I thought he was doing with the training... I told him, if you are trying to scare off sellers and make them leave, you are going good! You should teach them in sales cycle and process instead to talk about all the problems we had or we have. He was not happy.

Anyway he didn't stop talking bullshit the rest of the training so in some point I stop paying attention and I lose myself inside my mind. When he done, it was my turn to teach new sellers to make a quote in our software system, something that sales manager still doesn't know, and obviously he leave the room... I asked him where he going and if again he will try to avoid to learn it, he said he was coming back in few minutes but of course he didn't, to again the only one who can make quotes is me 

Today he did a short training and of course asked me to be there (I don't know for what). Again he used a powerpoint from Mexico company and it was a waste of my time. After it I went back to my office and my coworker show me an email with an offer for other job, it means maybe he will leave us before end of year. We both feel that my boss is doing same mistake over and over, hiring the wrong people without experience for the position they will get. I started to see for new job too.

Again I had bad sleep. Anyways I get up earlier than usual and I cooked pancakes for breakfast: with dulce de leche for Martu and with blueberries and strawberries for me. Of course I drank coffee. I really like pancakes but it is not something I could eat every morning






It was a busy and stressful day at work. The good news is that this month I got again a little pay rise. It is just $170 but it's good to see that my boss notices how much I am doing. 

After work I went to the greengrocery, again! and I bought 2 mangos, then I went to the butcher's and bought chicken. For dinner I grilled chicken and cooked potatoes in the microwave, healthy and delicious. Maybe I'll start to look for recipes to cook more healthy and tasty food.

Today I won't do bike or workout, I feel tired so I'm going to the bed to study before sleep. 

I slept so bad that it was hard to get up this morning. I brought the 2 mini cactus to my office, they changed the look of the place and I am very happy about that. If they survive I'll bring more.

Day was slow, maybe because I slept bad and I felt so tired all day long. I started a marketing campaign which include emails and social media publications (facebook, twitter, linkedin). Few minutes after sent the newsletter it had an open rate of 15%+ and also clicks on the links. Some people were asking for more information so I'm satisfied with the result.

After lunch I started to calculate comissions but I lost part of my work because sales manager opened the same file I was working on , even when yesterday I told him to not to do that and I told him if he wants to see comissions he can copy the files in his computer instead open them from the Dropbox folder. He said "It is not me this time!! someone else should be opening the files" and he puts under suspicion my other coworker (the lazy fatass). I worried that someone else got the dropbox password then I checked the logs and connections and guess what??? in the log I could see that the computer who opened the file was his computer (I also saw his IP).He kept saying it was not him  

I did 1 hour bike and now I'm going to the bed