nattalie | Entries tagged with men

Finally I lost my patience. This man who was pushing me to have a date messaged me today although I didn't reply his last messages. He asked if I was there and I said I was busy working. Few hours later I got another message saying that he wants to come to my home on Saturday after I leave work to take me to my family's weekend house so I can relax and he can see me because he miss me... WTF! I give a shit about what he wants, I told him NO to any thing that he propossed me before so why he keeps pushing??? For what the hell will he miss me when I don't know him and I just saw him a couple of times at my mom's house because she invited him and his friends for dinner? For two weeks every fucking day I have to excuse myself for saying NO to him, is not enough to say NO one or two times?

He replied "I see that you don't want to share things with me, it's a pity" then added a broken heart emote. ENOUGH... I reply "you make me feel uncomfortable" then I blocked him without get an answer. This weekend my sister and my mom want we go to the weekend house to spend time together and to enjoy the last day of the swimming pool for this season. I'm so afraid that this man makes any kind of drama or tries to harass me that probably I'll stay at home. This piss me off so much!!!! damn the moment when mom told to this creppy man that I could help him to set his iPhone. I just tried to be gentile with mom's "friends" and see what happened to me!!!

A while after I blocked this psychopath, mom's partner messaged me again saying that he was going to try again for I go for dinner, coffee, drinks or whatever with him. If I told him NO yesterday why he thinks I'll say Yes today??? I replied "I just blocked mom's friend, do you want to be the next?" he said sorry he doesn't want to bother me and it was just an invitation, "don't worry" I said then he added "it's a pitty, but well.... I won't bother you again , sorry, I though we could have a date". I have no fucking idea why he though we could have a date, just because he went to mom's house to have dinner with her and I was over there????

Is this the tactics that adult men use to get girls??? to push them over and over getting offended if we say NO as if women are ungrateful??? that is pathetic!!!! NO is NO, and there is not reason for you guys keep pushing or claiming for explanations, I don't need to justify a NO, the fact that you have interest on me doesn't mean that I owe you something for this, I don't have any obligation to have a date with you or to be affectionate!!! I said NO, respect my fucking decision!!!!

Current Mood: pissed off

I want to write about some things that are going on last days but I didn't find time to write about.

Michael updated his resume and he applied for a new job. I can't believe that he finally stopped being afraid of everything! He's not happy with his actual job since long time but he was afraid to look for new job and realized that nobody wants hire him, afraid to fail. I hope he gets a better job, it will helps him a lot to build confidence. He also started working on his agenda to add some things that he wants to do, like losing weight, doing exercise, start his own project again. He also is tracking is sleeping with Fitbit and this scares us. The first day, in 6 hours of sleeping he woke up 21 times (1h 6m total) and he slept deeply just 45 minutes. This explain why he is always tired and irritated doesn't matter how many hours he sleeps. He's afraid he will have a heart attack in this way. Anyway he's being lovely with me. Oh, the flowers he sent me for Valentines lasted many days!

The friend and the business partner of my mother keep messaging me to invite me to hang out. The friend is pissing me off, he push so much and keep using the phrase "because at weekend you are alone" to forced me to do something with him. Now he changed his tactic and he "is worried because I'm having hard time and he wants to help me" WTF... who said that I'm having hard time? I can complain about work or how expensive things are here but it doesn't mean that I'm bad and having hard time, I don't need his help at all. This man is really obssesive, that is a very good reason for not to be his friend.

Martu started middle school this week, she was excited about! So bad her enthusiasm will not last long and soon I'll struggle with waking her up early. This year she will have Yoga, Chess and signing Coral, I hope she likes it. I love to see how she grows up, she's doing so well. I leave her in the school at 7pm then I go to work. I get work 1 hour early which means that I'm alone until my coworkers get the office and go home 1 hour early :D

There are new potential customers who want to buy a website. One website is for an online radio and the other is to sell clothes. Let's see if I can get them :)

Sunday, the last day of my vacations. I tried not to get depressed thinking about going back to work.

I went to the swimming pool with my sister and my niece. We sunbathed for a while until them left. I stayed there because I was not hungry yet to have lunch. I went to the water but it was cold, I tyhink it was the reason why noone was in the pool. Mom's friend came to the pool and he moved my chair next to his chair... we start talking about people and I took the opportunity to make clear what kind of things men do that I don't like or makes me feel uncomfortable. He also know now that I have a FWB in USA so I hope it helps for him to be quiet.

This time he was no creepy and we could talk about work, family, parenting, etc. Mom joined us later and also that man I like for her. Mom and I went back to the house at 7 pm then I started to pack my things. I got home at midnight but instead going to bed I stayed messing around, which means that I just slept 4 hours before getting up for work :(

Good things about my week off:

I rested and relaxed
Martu and my niece learned to ride a bike
I could read, watch series, swim, do some excercises, enjoy the nature every day
I've gained just 2lbs.
I bought the dress for the party
I didn't have to sit at computer the whole week!!!
My skin has a nice golden color now :)

I'm trying to catch up with my journal so this is how my weekend was.

On Saturday I woke up at noon and I had lunch while updating the journal, then I went to the swimming pool. It was cloudy and some windy so the water was cold. I stayed inside the pool just few minutes then I sat under a tree to read my book. I really like this book although I can't remember all the names of the Lords and Knights.

Mom and my niece came to the pool but we didn't stay there so long. Her business partner was comming for dinner... yes, again! Mom's friend (the guy who tries to get me) invited me to go for dinner. I don't like when a man shows so much interest so fast!!!! I told him it was the last weekend of my vacations and I wanted to spend it with Martu so he replied that he could buy food and come to eat with us.... I let my mother choose since he's her friend and he is also one of the manager of the place where she lives. She invited him...

Before the dinner I helped my niece to learn to ride a bike. Imade her to try with the small bike, just like I did with Martu, then ran holding the bike until she was able to ride it alone. She got it!!! Martu did it faster than her but it's because my niece was ashame. I'm a good cycling teacher :D

Mom's partner did a kind of barbecued which was delicious. The two men drank 2 bottles of wine and I could see it affected them. They were talking about losing parents because mom's friend is still depressed for his mother's death. In some point and I don't know how, the conversation turned about if I am sensible or hard woman. Mom and the two men talked like if any of them know me but they don't, it was uncomfortable so I kept silence. When mom's partner was ready to leave he asked me to walk with him to his car which was at the security post, previously to give me his phone to I add my number in the contact list... oh well, motherfucker. When we got to his car he tried to hug me to say Good night but I got ride of him very quickly and came back to the house... another uncomfortable situation.

Mom's friend stayed there for 1 more hour talking nonstop and trying to get our admiration... men!!! what is wrong with them???? When they got their respective houses them both messaged me. We just spent few hours together, what's the need to messaged me? I don't like all those attention on me, I want they treat me like any other person. Maybe I'm a dick, who knows...

Current Mood: uncomfortable

After got up at noon, Martu wanted to cycle to the lake. I told her she needs to ride the small bike because there was no way to I made it in that bike. It was a hot day. Few minutes after we start cycling she changed her mind and cancelled the trip. I knew she was not getting it, sitting in the small bike really hurts. She took my bike and she rode for a while, then we had lunch.

In the afternoon we went to the swimming pool. There were a lot of kids with the teachers from Recreation. First they were outside the pool playing games, then Martu and I went to the pool. We stayed there for a while althought the water was cold. When we left, the kids came back. There was an inflatable slide and the kids did a line to climb it and jump on the water. I've to admite that I would like using it, it seemed so funny!.

Since it was cloudy and cold we were back to the house and I helped mom to paint her hair. Tonight her friends were coming for dinner and 2 of them wanted to get her so she wanted to look fine althought she has not interest on them lol.

At 7pm one of them, the man who has interest on me, came to the house to start cooking the chicken in the grill. I had to stay with him until mom got ready, then I disappeared until the dinner was ready.

One of mom's "suitors" was a 65+ years old lawyer who I didn't like. He's very gentil and polite but I feel him so old and fussy. The other one I do like him, he seems pretty normal althought I'm sure he's rich. He's gentile and polite too and he seems very nice man. He has a 9 years old son who's lovely.

The guy who tries to get me was messing with the other guy who is married but has girlfriend. I didn't like that, I felt it was childish and out of place. He was the last to leave and again he messaged after he left. I don't know what to think about him. I feel he's silly because how he acts but in the other hand I doubt a fool could become rich by himself like he did... maybe he doesn't know how to act with girls? I'm waiting to see his smart side, but who knows if he will surprise me.

I had appointment with the surgeon at morning. I wanted to know how much it cost to get ride of my eye bags. I knew it's expensive but anyway I needed to know the exact number, get disappointed and accept my face how it is. Went I entered to the Dr office and I told him why I was there, he made a gesture like if he could guess it before I open my mouth. The first he said was that he does not recommend me to go for a surgery, not just because it's expensive but because my problem is not so bad to go for it. Instead the surgery he recommended me to try with a laser treatment which tightens and rejuvenates the skin, so it can helps to attenuate my eye bags. The laser cost 150 usd against the 1400 than the surgery costs.The only bad thing is that the skin of my eye bags will be purple for few days but I think it worths to try!!!!Even if this doesn nothing on my eye bags it will does something on my eye skin.
I'll do the treatment on March or April. I don't expect it does magic but I hope it helps me to stop my obsession about my eyes.

Mom had appointment with the same Dr later that day so Martu and I waited at home for her to come to pick us. We went back to the weekend house. When we arrived one friend of mom was here waiting for us. He came to organize a dinner for the next night, oh well it seems we will have guests every day while I stay here???? He asked me for help him to set up his iPhone, which I did, then he used this excuse to add me in whatsapp. Later that night he messaged me and it seems he will do it every night the next days. This is the reason why I try to avoid human contact.
He is 47 years old, single, no kids, not sure what his profession is but I know he owns some houses in this place. Obviously, a rich man. He looks pretty normal, not ugly not sexy, just a normal man and he is showing interest on me, in fact the other friends of mom started to make jokes about this. That just make me more uncomfortable. I don't know if I became too old or too antisocial but I don't like men flirt to me. Instead of that I will like if he acts like a friend and stay in that place. Otherwise I have not interest at all to talk to him. Other woman in my place will take advantage of a man like this but that won't be ever me.

When this guy left, Martu wanted to practise to ride the bike, so we did. It was hard to do with the big bike because it's heavy for her to control it and it's also heavy for me to hold its weight and also Martu's weight so I took the small bike, which is very small for Martu, and I raised the seat and the handlebar. Now it was easier for we both to deal with it. After a while I was able to release the bike without Martu falls down, then I ran to her side ready to hold the bike if she lost her balance. It was not necesary but anyway I ran like for 30 minutes. It was a good way to exercise!!! Martu was so excited and happy laughing so hard that sometimes she lost the control of the bike because laughing. That made my day :)

We came back to the house to have dinner then Martu wanted ride the bike again. She wanted to go to the cross, I think it's 1 km away, but she tricked me!!! we did few meters then she stopped saying that she wanted to try the big bike so we changed bikes... can you imagine how I looked riding a kid bike??? she didn't want to change it back and I let her enjoy the victory. I don't remember how I felt when I learned to ride a bike but I want she keeps a good memory of this day.
After few minutes we got the cross and stayed there a little, in the dark of the night, under the stars, running here and there, laughing and taking photos. Riding that small bike killed my legs and made my butt hurts lol but who cares, it was a great night :)

Current Mood: happy
Current Location: under the stars

On saturday, after working from home until 3pm, I went to the weekend house determined to rest. After drinking a coffee, mom and I went to the pool. the water was warm, so perfect to stay inside the pool for hours!

After a long time, we went out of the pool and we reclined on the chairs to sunbathe. There was some friend of my mother, a 49 years old man, prosecutor, divorced with kids. While I tried to read my book, mom and his friend were talking about his sentimental issues. It was annoying to hear all the hypocrisy of my mother but I did a big effort to keep silence. The guy seems to me a childish man who refuses to grow up, something very common nowaday. He tried to be nice in the wrong way, making compliments and saying to my mom how beautiful I am... congrats for piss me off! I didn't say anything about that then they started to talk about hysterical women. I was not participating of the conversation, trying to read my book, but in some point at opened my mouth and asked him "are you calling me histerical???" then I explained tohim the difference between a histerical woman and a honest woman who knows what she wants. He said I should not have such a strong personality because that would scare men... That is exactly what I want, then they will stay away from me!

When they closed the pool, mom and I went back to the house, then I sat down in the garden to enjoy the hummingbirds. There were 3 of them flying around me, eating from the birds feeder, so close that I could hear their bzzzzzz bzzzzz all the time.

Watch on YouTube

Dinner was fish and salad, it was delicious, then I was so tired that I cancelled my plan of rading the bike at night and I laid down in the sofa to read my book. Mom at down next to me to watch videos on Facebook talking nonstop as usual so I could not pay attention to my book until she got tired and she went to sleep. I read for 2 hours then I went to sleep too.

Current Mood: relaxed

Yesterday I was so tired that when I got home I skipped workout. I was grumpy and tired. ready to go to bed but I had to cook dinner and also lunch for today. In my lethargy I burned food in the oven

Anyway I went to bed earlier than usual and I read more of Strange Case of Dr Jekyll and Mr Hyde. I really enjoy this book although I can not understand all the sentences. I didn't finish to read it because I fell asleep so I think I'll finish the book today. I woke up at 6 am because a nightmare I had

I spoke to Alexis yesterday and I regretted 5 minutes later. It piss me off he can not talk to me without make a "joke" about having sex. And the sexual joke had nothing to do with our conversation

He makes me feel really uncomfortable, this is why I stopped haging out with him. There is other guy I know that I wanted to hang out with him and his friends and I can not because every time he invited me to do something together he let me know he wants some action with me. In this country men are almost like that if they are single, so this is very hard for me to make new friends. I dont mean that I am irresistible, I mean that single men are more interested in and adventure than a friendship.

Current Mood: frustrated
Crossposts: https://nattalie-m.livejournal.com/161281.html

At Sunday my ex talked to me on facebook's chat. We didn't talk since months. I'm never friend of my ex's after breaking up to avoid feeling uncomfortable if they try to have sex again. Alexis is the only ex bf I keep on touch because he's the only who didn't cheat me. He's a good person but our relationship didn't work because he's 11 years older than me, and this is not only age difference, but maturity. I know.... I should ask to men their age before start datting them!!!! but I always forget

Michael is 8 years younger than me... at least this time I pick a kid instead a baby

Coming back to the topic, my ex told me he was near my home and asked to go to drink coffee. I made an excuse and said I can't. To be honest I would like having some social life, but I feel he still want sex with me, because when we talk he flirts, and this make me feel uncomfortable.This is way I stoppend hanging out with him and this is way I'm not friend of my exs