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nattalieI'm 40 years old today....I don't think the number will affect me at all but I don't like so much how it sounds. I am just now learning how to live, many of my years were a waste. 
The day was not as bad as I thought. I woke up at noon, I had some bad dream that I don't remeber what this was. My mother messaged me if I preferred to have lunch or dinner together, I chose dinner. I got up, I had breakfast and 2 hours later I had lunch.
I wanted to do workout but I felt heavy after dinner although it was a small beef with salad. I read for 1 hour a new book which seems interesting and I was still heavy so I decided to do bike instead workout. I did 1 hour bike while I read the diet book to know what to do after I end the diet. I also played some matchs of Magic cards.
I had shower then I started to get ready for dinner. I went to my mother's restaurant, it were mom, Flor, Martu and me. My sister and my niece didn't come, I invited them but they forgot it was my birthday and they were already cooking for dinner. My mother was complaining about some problem with her business but I just ignored it.
I was a little nervous because I didn't know what reaction I was going to have about food, or desserts. I didn't break my diet at all, I had grilled chicken with salad. Martu had squid rings which I LOVE but I didn't touch it at all. She also had dessert, some choco-cake which is a cake made with chocolate cookies and caramel... sugar... all those sugar there in front of my eyes... and I didn't want to eat it. I feel so good with my body although I do not get my goal yet, that I have not interest at all to ruin all the work I am doing.
My mother keeps saying to me that I should not do diet, that I have no fat to burn, that many diets are so bad for our body. She also talked about how fat she is getting because eating so much, and that she probably will have a liposuction
My father and his older son messaged me today, I was surprised they remember my bday. My boss also messaged. Michael did early in the morning, he was the second person who greeted me, Martu was the first
Some virtual friends on Facebook also saludate me although I don't post the date of my birthday there, I don't want to reply a lot of messages of people who probably don't even care about this day lol
One of the makeup brands I buy from, which I really love their products, sent me a 15% off coupon for my birthday.
Right now they give 70% discount because cyber monday so I think I will buy some makeup tomorrow and try to use my coupon to see if I can get 85% off lol
I took some aweful pics of myself to remember how (bad or good) I looked on my 40s. I am not photogenic and allergy is killing my eyes but who cares
.
The day was not as bad as I thought. I woke up at noon, I had some bad dream that I don't remeber what this was. My mother messaged me if I preferred to have lunch or dinner together, I chose dinner. I got up, I had breakfast and 2 hours later I had lunch.
I wanted to do workout but I felt heavy after dinner although it was a small beef with salad. I read for 1 hour a new book which seems interesting and I was still heavy so I decided to do bike instead workout. I did 1 hour bike while I read the diet book to know what to do after I end the diet. I also played some matchs of Magic cards.
I had shower then I started to get ready for dinner. I went to my mother's restaurant, it were mom, Flor, Martu and me. My sister and my niece didn't come, I invited them but they forgot it was my birthday and they were already cooking for dinner. My mother was complaining about some problem with her business but I just ignored it.
I was a little nervous because I didn't know what reaction I was going to have about food, or desserts. I didn't break my diet at all, I had grilled chicken with salad. Martu had squid rings which I LOVE but I didn't touch it at all. She also had dessert, some choco-cake which is a cake made with chocolate cookies and caramel... sugar... all those sugar there in front of my eyes... and I didn't want to eat it. I feel so good with my body although I do not get my goal yet, that I have not interest at all to ruin all the work I am doing.
My mother keeps saying to me that I should not do diet, that I have no fat to burn, that many diets are so bad for our body. She also talked about how fat she is getting because eating so much, and that she probably will have a liposuction
My father and his older son messaged me today, I was surprised they remember my bday. My boss also messaged. Michael did early in the morning, he was the second person who greeted me, Martu was the first
Some virtual friends on Facebook also saludate me although I don't post the date of my birthday there, I don't want to reply a lot of messages of people who probably don't even care about this day lol
One of the makeup brands I buy from, which I really love their products, sent me a 15% off coupon for my birthday.
Right now they give 70% discount because cyber monday so I think I will buy some makeup tomorrow and try to use my coupon to see if I can get 85% off lol I took some aweful pics of myself to remember how (bad or good) I looked on my 40s. I am not photogenic and allergy is killing my eyes but who cares
.
no subject
on 2017-11-27 07:29 pm (UTC)Because the diet I am doing I had to quit coffee, I had headache for 5 days because the lack of cafeine and I still feel sleepy all day long. Anyways I get some caffeine drinking green tea, I can't quit it 100% and I don't want to do it, I like being overactive :D
btw if I misunderstand what you say to me you can tell me, I learn English by my own so my language is still very basic :(
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on 2017-11-27 07:44 pm (UTC)Ouch. Caffeine headaches are the worst. And I do love green tea, I think I drink about 6-8 cups a day :D. I got one of these a few years ago, and it's probably the most cherished member of my apartment besides my cat: https://www.amazon.com/Breville-BTM800XL-One-Touch-Tea-Maker/dp/B003LNOPSG
btw if I misunderstand what you say to me you can tell me, I learn English by my own so my language is still very basic :(
I'll do. And please tell me whenever I'm not being clear (I don't always write things in the most elegant or straightforward way; I sort of love English for its own sake, and get carried away --- although very often I just make plain old mistakes :D) or if there's anything I misunderstood of what you said, or you want to know anything.
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on 2017-11-27 08:05 pm (UTC)Look who is bragging that he got the next level of drinking tea!!! I feel envy! a tea machine and a cat!!! I feel so sad drinking just water while the only animal around me is my coworker :'(
At least let me see you cat :)
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on 2017-11-27 08:22 pm (UTC)And enthusiastically curated, it sounds like :P.
Look who is bragging that he got the next level of drinking tea!!! I feel envy! a tea machine and a cat!!! I feel so sad drinking just water while the only animal around me is my coworker :'(
Poor coworker... (Not that I don't empathize; I feel sad every time I leave my tea machine and my cat for too long :D).
At least let me see you cat :)
Ok, I just uploaded a photo here. I took it a couple of weeks ago, but it's misleading: she's usually asleep :P.
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on 2017-11-27 08:28 pm (UTC)I miss so much having a cat :(
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on 2017-11-27 08:39 pm (UTC):( It does sound like having one would help you feel better.
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on 2017-11-27 08:45 pm (UTC)Sadly I can't have a cat in this building, they don't let me, and anyway I am in the 4th floor and I am afraid if I get a cat, it will try to jump out of the balcony.
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on 2017-11-27 08:58 pm (UTC)Hmm. Maybe one of the reasons you have trouble relaxing is that you think or feel that "relaxing" means "being bad" in some way? I ask because that's the way it is for me; sometimes I feel a bit guilty *because* I'm enjoying something instead of doing it for purely selfless reasons. I'm 95% certain that whatever you think of as "being bad" will turn out to be nothing more nefarious that "doing things that you enjoy because you enjoy them." Which means that you most definitely should :D.
Anyway, my cat is lazy and doesn't like doing anything she doesn't want to, so she'll be a great tutor if you ever want to start practicing.
Sadly I can't have a cat in this building, they don't let me, and anyway I am in the 4th floor and I am afraid if I get a cat, it will try to jump out of the balcony.
Yeah, I understand. I live on a 3rd floor and *never* open up the balcony, because I fear my cat would jump at a bird or something :(.
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on 2017-11-28 12:43 am (UTC)No, I don't think I am bad if I am relaxing, but often I feel guilty because I am delaying my goals, in some point I think that the activities I do for relaxing are a waste of time and that I should be able to can deal with my stress to not need take a break for relaxing. Probably I would love being a robot lol. Maybe it has to do with the fact that I like a lot of things I work in (like studying, designing, workout, etc) so I can find some fun there. I need to work to can enjoy the other things that I do that do not bring me closer to my goals (netflix, reading novel books, playing games, etc). There is some book I am reading in order to learn to enjoy the present without my mind drag me to the past nor to the future. It is called "The power of now", but probably there is a background reason why I am reading that book. It is very hard for me to turn off my mind, it is a powerful tool that I want to learn to control to get whatever I want.
I also feel guilty because there is always someone who needs my help for something, and I am "being selfish" taking care of myself instead taking care of the other, and yah that makes me feel i am a bad person.
I know that relaxing doesn't make me a bad woman nor guilty of anything, but for many years my mind controled my life 100%. Now I try to learn to control my mind instead be controled by it.
That is what a cat is supposed to do! they do whatever they want without give a shit about anyone, I feel jealous of them lol
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on 2017-11-28 01:14 am (UTC)When you figure that out, please teach me how? (I mean, it's not that *don't* do things that don't bring me any closer to my goals --- it's just that it's kind of hard to fully let got of the nagging feeling that I "should" be doing something more "productive" even while I'm doing them). Please, I'm begging you here :P.
That is what a cat is supposed to do! they do whatever they want without give a shit about anyone, I feel jealous of them lol
So very much. No wonder we used to think of them as gods :).
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on 2017-11-28 02:14 am (UTC)I know very well that feeling. While I am doing something for fun my mind is saying to me "that won't make you get your goals, you are wasting your time, you should do something useful" and a lot of blablabla more. I tell myself "I need have some distraction to not get stressed and work harder" but there is some thought inside me (maybe ego) that makes me believe that I can push myself more and more and more and be sucessful if I don't let feelings mess with me and if I find a way to keep my body producing energy (or cheat using cafeine!)... there will be not limits for me! Muahaha! Ok I sound creepy and insane, I know :D
Well I am not sure if this is a good idea I try to teach you something, I am crazy and twisted lol but let me share this with you. I didn't read it all yet because it can be a little heavy sometimes. I do not believe in all the same things the writer believes and self-help books hardly ever get my attention but I could see myself in a lot of situation he describes.
So there you have https://brahmstalks.files.wordpress.com/2016/05/the-power-of-now.pdf
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on 2017-11-28 02:24 am (UTC)You also sound a lot like my inner voice :D.
Well I am not sure if this is a good idea I try to teach you something, I am crazy and twisted lol
I think that's called "being able to relate to your student(s)" :).
So there you have https://brahmstalks.files.wordpress.com/2016/05/the-power-of-now.pdf
Downloaded, thanks!